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i want you naked.

i want you filthy and crying,
i want your thoughts, raw and ragged
dripping down your chin --
i want your bloodstained face
buried in my lap,
fingers tearing at my skin --
gasping for anything,
oh god anything,
but the truth.

i want your eyes gouged
your throat purged --
i want to tear through your system.

i want you naked,

i want you ashamed,
i want your sadness, your regret.
i want your hopes to spill
from your lips, salty as tears,
thick as blood --
in puddles all around me.
i want to tear your secrets
from your tongue  --
decode them, rip through them.
i want you, real,

i want you naked.
All great truths begin as blasphemies

There is no god higher than truth

Truth alone wounds

(Shaw, Gandhi, Bonaparte)
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:iconourbleedingangel:
ourbleedingangel Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2007
You are one all in yourself. How you write, how you are able to express angst and such emotion. You are breathlessly...amazing.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2007
it's like i'm coming back to life.

thank you for your kind words.
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:iconourbleedingangel:
ourbleedingangel Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2007
You deserved them. You are a wonderful writer.
Reply
:iconanon-y-mous:
ANON-Y-MOUS Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2006
wow ... its ... wow. i really dont know what else to say. its amazing in every way... wow...
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2006
-laughs- thank you
Reply
:iconmethariel:
methariel Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2006   Writer
Please don't think im returning the favorite or something, i just liked the rawness and emotion of the piece. If you like, i can give more expansive opinions and critiques(warning: im no expert), some other time, but for now, great job.

by the way not capitalizing i!!! please say you do it on purpose, please say you are like that me i am not.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2006
oh darling, nothing's ever important enough to capitalize. words are all equal, and as equals they can do equal damage, move equally. they are an entity, and none stand alone.

thank you for the favorite. this is a very important poem to me.
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:iconsuper-tampon:
super-tampon Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2006
wow, i really like your work. this is very strong. i like how you use the word naked in a different sort of way. not really a physical naked.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2006
it's strange for what i write not to have any sexual connotation....and i'm not sure why. but this has...zero.
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:iconbottleneck:
bottleneck Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2006
This is my favorite. "I want you ashamed." I like that there's no sexual connotation whatsoever to "naked."

Hm. A thought. I always feel cheap when I start to write something that's built on parallel constructions of "I want...", "I want...", "I want..." but the more I'm looking at it, the better that builds and emphasizes and doesn't force you to awkwardly dress up the part of the point that isn't important.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2006
Yeah, I didn't want there to be.
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:iconla-vita-ay-bella:
la-vita-ay-bella Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2006
brutal and honest and real. i can very much identify with it.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2006
yeah, i suppose it's as real as it gets.
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:iconsupermanforsale:
supermanforsale Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2006
This one's more angry than your recent string of pieces. I like the deviation. Keep branching out, it pays off.

Very nice work, as usual.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2006
oh, and i do greatly apologize for the string.

typically i don't find anything adequate enough to post more than once a week -- but three times in 12 hours kind of freaked me out.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2006
-smile-

I like branching off. But I don't want to wear myself too thin.
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:iconetamnanki:
etamnanki Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2006
Another chord is struck... and with its dystopic tune does it resonate deeply within me. Wracking the ribs in my chest... shrieking within the hollows of my heart and ringing within the expanse of my brain, it feels like a shrill cry to me... that wakes me from the constantly maddening silence of my own words... the whispers of my own damned fate that lurks silently... a horrid cry, to wake up into a harsher, if not more honest and pure reality.

As i've stated so many times before... and as I will so many times afterwards... your writing is a lyrical opus... brilliant in its simple, fierce and all too passionate charm. 'Tis something that even my philistine eyes and my unappreciative mind can take in so warmly... and recieve it as it should be... passionately and ferociously... and seen for what it represents, not what it tries to embellish or what it tries to prove. Just simply... as is :)
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2006
I wouldn't make an asrael out of a piccolo player on the street.

-laughs- I'm simple, darling. Simple, and very, very human.
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:iconetamnanki:
etamnanki Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2006
True :p But I still bet that you could make her hear an entire orchestra in my mind... even if you're just playin' a harmonica :p

That's the simple humanity that not many people share in this world that I have come to admire so much :)
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:iconglassbreaker:
glassbreaker Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
mmmmmmmmmurderoussssss...

i can really feel the frustration and rage emanating from this...it's pretty wonderful.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2006
v. beam, beamed, beam·ing, beams
v. intr.

1. To radiate light; shine.
2. To smile expansively.
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:iconnextbignothing:
nextbignothing Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2006
I think is probably one of the most beautiful, raw, and perfect pieces I have ever read. Words can't explain how much I am in love with this...
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2006
...Christ, I'm flattered.

I've been flustered with someone lately -- especially getting them to say how they feel, and I hate coaxing people. I like blunt, raw, up front people. That's what naked means. Honesty.
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