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:iconshes-a-vamp: More from shes-a-vamp




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Submitted on
March 20, 2006
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512 (1 today)
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i want you naked.

i want you filthy and crying,
i want your thoughts, raw and ragged
dripping down your chin --
i want your bloodstained face
buried in my lap,
fingers tearing at my skin --
gasping for anything,
oh god anything,
but the truth.

i want your eyes gouged
your throat purged --
i want to tear through your system.

i want you naked,

i want you ashamed,
i want your sadness, your regret.
i want your hopes to spill
from your lips, salty as tears,
thick as blood --
in puddles all around me.
i want to tear your secrets
from your tongue  --
decode them, rip through them.
i want you, real,

i want you naked.
All great truths begin as blasphemies

There is no god higher than truth

Truth alone wounds

(Shaw, Gandhi, Bonaparte)
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:iconourbleedingangel:
ourbleedingangel Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2007
You are one all in yourself. How you write, how you are able to express angst and such emotion. You are breathlessly...amazing.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2007
it's like i'm coming back to life.

thank you for your kind words.
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:iconourbleedingangel:
ourbleedingangel Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2007
You deserved them. You are a wonderful writer.
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:iconanon-y-mous:
ANON-Y-MOUS Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2006
wow ... its ... wow. i really dont know what else to say. its amazing in every way... wow...
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2006
-laughs- thank you
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:iconmethariel:
methariel Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2006   Writer
Please don't think im returning the favorite or something, i just liked the rawness and emotion of the piece. If you like, i can give more expansive opinions and critiques(warning: im no expert), some other time, but for now, great job.

by the way not capitalizing i!!! please say you do it on purpose, please say you are like that me i am not.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2006
oh darling, nothing's ever important enough to capitalize. words are all equal, and as equals they can do equal damage, move equally. they are an entity, and none stand alone.

thank you for the favorite. this is a very important poem to me.
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:iconsuper-tampon:
super-tampon Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2006
wow, i really like your work. this is very strong. i like how you use the word naked in a different sort of way. not really a physical naked.
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:iconshes-a-vamp:
shes-a-vamp Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2006
it's strange for what i write not to have any sexual connotation....and i'm not sure why. but this has...zero.
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:iconbottleneck:
bottleneck Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2006
This is my favorite. "I want you ashamed." I like that there's no sexual connotation whatsoever to "naked."

Hm. A thought. I always feel cheap when I start to write something that's built on parallel constructions of "I want...", "I want...", "I want..." but the more I'm looking at it, the better that builds and emphasizes and doesn't force you to awkwardly dress up the part of the point that isn't important.
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